Movember Mustache Analytics: 30 Days of Growth

by Jeremiah Johnson

Is it really possible to grow a proper mustache or beard in 30 days?

It’s late-Movember and many of us have been growing out our facial hair for men’s health awareness. Some of us had grand plans of growing out an epic mustache or beard but reality is setting in that there is little chance of closing out November as the next cast member on Duck Dynasty.

That got me to thinking… what would it really take to grow out some facial hair that rivals that of some of the great mustachelors of all time? (NOTE: I’m not sure “mustachelor” is a real word, but we will go with it)

With the help of ArtOfManliness.com, 4 different lengths of facial hair were selected as benchmarks for our data analysis. 

	Level 1 – Bieber Stage Our level one (The Sadness Level) will be our Justin Bieber Stage.  If this is your goal, please reconsider.  It’s just sad. 2mm of growth.
	Level 2 – Selleck Stage The type of mustache that everyone envisions when they decide to grow facial hair. Also known as the Magnum PI or Tom Selleck Stage. 12mm of growth.
	Level 3 – Sam Elliott Stage Quite possibly the greatest ‘stache of all-time belongs to Sam Elliott. It is the real deal. I’m pretty sure he’s won an Oscar for Best Facial Hair in a Comedy or Drama. 20mm of growth.
	Level 4 – Duck Dynasty Stage By the Duck Dynasty Stage, you should be able to hide things in your facial hair… like sandwiches or small children. Also known as the ZZ Top Stage or Santa Claus Stage. 140mm of growth.

Genetics

Obviously genetics will also have something to do with one’s ability to grow facial hair. The experts at Beards.com state, “Beard growth is genetically determined and there is not much anyone can do other than to accept what they’ve been given.” For the purposes of some fun analysis, we will just make the assumption that there is an adequate genetic makeup for beard growth.

Growth Rates

According to Hairfinder.com, the rate of growth for all the hair on the body is approximately one-half inch per month. Some people’s hair grows faster, and some slower, but one-half inch per month or 12.7 mm is the average.

Some experts believe that one can increase the growth rate by as much as 20% with proper care of the skin, get enough sleep, eat properly, and incorporate vitamins B1, B6 and B12.

For fun we’ll assume the reverse is true as well. A negative 20% growth rate with poor diet, grooming, and lack of sleep.

Conclusion:  Is it really possible to grow a proper mustache or beard in 30 days?

YES!  

If you are one of those who wait until November 1st to start your facial growth, you will likely have a chance to reach Level 2 – The Tom Selleck Stage if you have at least an average growth rate.   If you have a bad diet, don’t take care of your skin, and are sleep deprived, you will not advance beyond the Level 1 – Bieber Stage and will look ridiculous and sad.  But that is okay… it’s still for a good cause.

If your goal is to achieve mustachelor greatness by November 30th, you should start early.  A quick guide to help you achieve your goal…

• To look like Magnum PI, plan on starting by October 25th.  
• To look like Sam Elliott, start by October 1st.  
• If Willie Robertson is your goal, start 414 days early… or October 12th of the previous year.

KPI’s Final Whisker Data 

	Level 1 – Bieber Stage 2mm of growth. 4 days at an Elevated Growth Rate  5 days at an Average Growth Rate 6 days at a Below Average Growth Rate
	Level 2 – Selleck Stage 12mm of growth.  24 days = 0.79 months at an Elevated Growth Rate 29 days = 0.95 months at an Average Growth Rate 36 days = 1.18 months at a Below Avg. Growth Rate
	Level 3 – Sam Stage 20mm of growth. 40 days = 1.31 months at an Elevated Growth Rate 48 days = 1.58 months at an Average Growth Rate 60 days = 1.97 months at a Below Avg. Growth Rate
	Level 4 – Duck Dynasty Stage 140mm of growth. 276 days = 9.01 months at an Elevated Growth Rate 331 days = 10.88 months at an Average Growth Rate 414 days = 13.60 months at a Below Avg. Growth Rate